Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Thank You

After preparing so many things for my wedding day, I have taken a minute to stop and ponder on what is truly happening. It's humbling and a sweet joy to get to know more of my Heavenly Father and His Son through this process.
Many of you may know the life I led from four to twenty-four years old. It's dark, confusing, traumatic and seemingly hopeless. Thanks for the angels on earth who helped me walk away from that, I learned how to turn to Heavenly Father without resentment and pain.
Learning to keep my chin up and keep running has changed my life. I'm not the best at it but I sure do try. I've fallen quite a bit, that's for sure. And many of those were doozies where I thought there was no repair good enough. Not only did I learn that is not true, I learned that I'm still being blessed through it all. When I look back, I see that Christ never turned His back on me; He never pulled His hand away. He held me and consoled me. When I was at my worst and made mistakes that I feel I shouldn't have, He was there even when I wouldn't forgive myself, crying with me, holding me and helping me back up.
Through all the falling, Heavenly Father helped me live a miracle--finding a man who found me right back. The simplest prompting followed and I knew Spencer would be a part of my life. A few more promptings and I knew Spencer could be The One. I've still fallen along the way but that never changed His help and I continued being blessed and guided and I got back up again. This time, I had my best friend and man of my dreams running right with me.
Why am I so blessed through all my mistakes and failures? Why am I this lucky? It's something I ask myself whenever I see Spencer looking back at me. Then the answer comes: Christ made this possible because He loves me and knows who I really am and has made it possible for me to get back up and become that person. Now I get to become that person with this miracle and blessing by my side.
I never would have thought, five years ago or earlier, that I would be preparing to marry the greatest friend I've ever had and the man of my {most ridiculous, long-shot} dreams in eleven days. I know this is a blessing from God because He was the one who helped me find this miracle. It wouldn't have happened without Him and I know this special day will be the greatest day of my life. Together, Spencer and I will continue to fall, get up, dust it off and keep running to become something greater. That's The Plan. I'm seeing more and more how sweet, fun, surprising, merciful and happy That Plan is and how welcome I am to live it.
There are no words that can be expressed (and it's silly to be on a blog) so, from the depth of my soul, I say, 'Thank you.'

Monday, January 10, 2011

Our Wedding Announcement

So here it is. I LOVE it! Spencer and his sister, Laura, designed it (her photo blog is in my blog list) and Laura took the pictures. It's beautiful, classy, romantic, old-fashioned--all the things I like. Things are falling together very nicely. Just trying to breathe and live in these special moments with Spencer, our families and friends. It's been amazing to see how willing everyone is to give of themselves and their time. Thank you, Everyone, for your help and support. It's going to be a wonderful, memorable day, thanks to you.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

I Met Him!

I loved it when a certain song came on the radio. I would sing it at the top of my lungs, imagining my life falling into place. I knew my life had big plans waiting for me and that great things would happen. I had no idea what or when or how but I knew it would. That was enough for me; enough to keep me excited and looking up, wondering what Heavenly Father was hiding behind His back, so to speak (this particular song helped me out with the 'excited'm fun part of it all).
I was just fine with my current lifestyle because I was working for those greater things that I knew would eventually work out... It's funny how everything works out, huh. It is really funny to look back and 'connect the dots' and see what Heavenly Father has been putting together for you all along. For myself, I have found that He likes to surprise and spoil me when I'm working hard. I know it's not hard enough but, when I do try, He spoils me and in the most interesting, fun ways--in a way that makes everything come full circle. It ends up making sense and reminds me of very important, personal things--turning me to Him more than before.
So I was single, working hard in school to get good grades to prepare to graduate. The place I was living in was... okay, okay, it was bad. But everything else was great. I was doin' my thing and loving it. Then I ended up writing my post January 27th, 2010(Haven't Met You, Yet), having no idea that I had already met him. At the time, this guy was my friend--a buddy I was happy to have.
It was early January when I was running late for class but I was hungry, so I stopped by the UVU food cart to buy an apple... and I ended up being a little bit later for class to talk to this sweet guy behind the cart.
In our first conversations of me buying an apple from him in the mornings, we found out that we had a whole lot in common. Then I decided to buy more food from him more often in the day just to have an excuse to talk to him. When a class was canceled, I spent that hour hangin' out with him and, eventually, I gave him my number and he asked me out on a date a couple days later. After that, we were inseparable--good friends right off the bat who were trying to take it nice 'n' easy. It was the nicest and easiest thing to move on to the next step. We felt comfortable and enjoyed it. There were times when we decided to try other things just because we wanted to make sure. Welp! Those never lasted more than a few days and my best friend and I would be inseparable again.
And this is where I think Heavenly Father likes to surprise me when I look back and 'connect the dots': I found this guy while buying food, just outside the music department during a time when I was just content with the fact that I knew everything would work out but that it just hasn't, yet.
Plus, I had this list that I kept since I was twelve years old. The list of a hundred narrowed down to ten very hard things for anyone to have. I never met anyone with those ten things and I knew I would be alone until I did. Welp! Not only did Spencer end up having all ten, but he had the style that I like, the hair I like, the face, the cleanliness, the family, the imagination, the arms, the laugh, the humor, the open-mindedness, the adventurous attitude, the generosity, the sportsy-ness... Did I make him up or is this real? Yep. It's very real and Heavenly Father spoiled me beyond my imaginations, literally.
Welp, the other day, my song came on the radio and, without realizing it, I felt tears running down my cheeks. I met him! I found him and a year ago, when I was just doin' my thing, wondering what Heaven'y Father had in store for me.
I'm grateful I was hungry that morning--enough to risk being late for class--and I'm grateful Spencer decided to work in that particular area of UVU that particular semester (I wouldn't have given him the time of day, otherwise). I'm so grateful no one else was around so we could openly talk for our first time meeting. I'm grateful I wasn't looking for anyone but that I was mentally and emotionally able to let someone in my life and that Spencer was the same.
It's a miraculous thing when these things happen, which makes it that much more fun when it does.


I guess the only things left is to get married... My next blog will let ya know when that will be! :D